How to Get Everything You Want From Your Man

It might sound surprising, but the secret to getting everything you want from your husband is rooted in the Bible, specifically 1 John 5:14-15. If we, as wives, truly grasp this principle, we can be immensely fulfilled in our marriages.

Many people get frustrated when they don’t get what they want from their husbands. What they often miss is the critical need to align. In marriage, you should be on the same page. Your goals, your dreams, and your hearts should be aligned, pursuing the same things. The things you want for yourself should be what your husband also desires for you. When this alignment exists, he’ll be more than willing to provide those things.

The Order of Alignment

Remember this order: First there’s God, then our husbands, then us as wives, and then our children.

When direction comes from God first, He provides vision to the husband. The husband then aligns his life to care for his wife and family. Therefore, the things we ask of our husbands should align with God’s will and with our husband’s vision.

If we reverse-engineer the scripture, the end state is clear: “we know that we have what we asked of Him.” To get there, we see, “whatever we ask,” and right before that, “we know that He hears us.”

This highlights the importance of communication. There has to be communication and alignment in the conversation. Our husbands hear us. We ask them for things, and we align our goals and dreams. These desires are on our hearts and what your husband wants for you aligns with what you both want for your family.

The scripture continues, “that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” Our husbands hear us when we ask things according to what we have discussed. We discuss our goals, our destination, and the direction we are heading. Then, we should be asking our husbands to equip us for this path and journey. This might mean things you need for the house to ensure a smooth return home for him, or items for an upcoming trip to ensure a great family experience. These are the things we need as a family and as a couple to reach our shared goals.

Confidence in Leadership

The first part of the scripture states, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God.” We apply this to our husbands. If our husbands are above us, and God is above them, we can have confidence in their leadership. We can trust that the path they are leading us on is the path God has ordained. Our husbands have prayed about it and are in alignment with God, and now we get in alignment with them. It’s a marital alignment where everyone—and all goals and dreams—are aligned. When we get out of alignment, it’s often not in line with our ongoing conversations. It’s about being confident in where we’re going and where our husbands are taking us.

If you find yourself lacking confidence in your husband’s leadership, I suggest being as supportive as possible. Allow him to pursue what’s on his heart. There might be something he needs to fulfill within himself before reaching the destination. Be supportive. Get in alignment with him. Pray about it, and ask God to settle in your heart that your husband is the leader. Be honest with God if it’s not what you want, but ask for help to support your husband’s pursuits, his provision for the household, and how he meets the family’s needs and desires. If you lack confidence, pray for it in your marriage and in the direction it’s going.

Let’s revisit 1 John 5:14-15 through the lens of marriage:

We approach our husbands with our needs for the household. He hears us because we’ve been in ongoing conversation about these things. This isn’t a one-time request out of the blue. We are aligned in our conversations.

Being in conversation and alignment with our husbands means that if we don’t have something at a specific moment, we know our husbands will pursue getting those things. Why? Because it will better support our journey, our direction, and the destination of our family.

It truly is simple to get everything you want from your husband. Be in alignment with him, and ask for the things that support him, and he will provide for you.

Discussions for Wives and Husbands

Here are some discussion points for wives to initiate with their husbands, to have deeper connection and shared purpose:

Building Confidence and Support

Effective Communication

Aligning Goals and Vision